I have always been a very positive person. I always see the glass half full and can't remember the last time I was depressed. Well, today is not one of those days. I don't know why, but I have been down in the dumps, weepy and just plain feeling sorry for myself.
Why, I don't know. Perhaps it was the article in the paper this morning about respecting and honoring our military. It brought back memories of my husband. He was in the Navy for twenty years, was on two ships that sunk during world war two, and survived it all. He died, however, at age 56 of an aneurysm. That was thirty two years ago and I have learned to live with being alone. Maybe I just need someone to talk to. If you don't want to listen you can delete me.
I also think part of my problem is the pain I am in. All the discs in my back are deteriorated, I have rheumatism, I have fallen 5 times on my knees and my back and legs are in great pain. Then I think of the boy who lives on the corner. He is paralyzed from his neck down, He can't use his arms or legs. And I'm complaining? I thank the Lord I can use my arms and legs, pain or no pain. I am the lucky one.
And then there are my eyes. I have Macular degeneration and I am having trouble seeing the fine lines when I am painting.Then I look at my friend Susan who has an eye disease that only allows her to see as through a key hole. Yet she does adorable paintings, has won awards for her painting and also sells her work. I can still look around and see the whole world, only not as well as when I was young. I am the lucky one.
Because of my pain there are many places I can't go, because it is too uncomfortable for me, but I can still drive and go some places. I can still paint and write and socialize with friends. I think it all comes down to the old cliche, "I cried when I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet."
Well, now that I got all my pity me problems off my chest I feel much better, and I also realize what a blessed person I am to be able to do all the things that I still can do at age eighty-five.
Until next time,
Be kind to one another
Joyce, you are truly an inspiration to me! I've never known you to complain - you are always so happy and cheerful. This post demonstrates your sweet spirit and your positive attitude. It made me stop and think about my own attitude. As you know, I have problems getting around since my knee surgery, and the arthritis and bursitis is quite painful. I have backaches, too. I fight depression at times. Your post helped me to put things into better perspective. I am grateful for the things I CAN do, and I'll try to be more positive. I hope we both feel better! Sending love and hugs your way.
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